MANILA — Nadine Lustre admitted she is still in the process of healing from her breakup with James Reid, quashing rumors that they have rekindled their romance.

Lustre and Reid, both 27, announced their separation in January 2020, after nearly four years as a couple.

In the year that followed that announcement, the two were spotted together numerous times, from relief operations amid the pandemic to a hike with friends. They were also close collaborators on Lustre’s album, “Wildest Dreams,” which was released under Reid’s own record label.

Their frequent sightings together, as recently as this month, prompted speculation that they have gotten back together.

In her latest interview, however, Lustre spoke of “the breakup” as something she continues to move on from, noting the span of time — “four years” — that the relationship had lasted. She did not directly mention Reid.

Lustre, who has been open about her past bouts with anxiety and depression, was speaking on the topic of dealing “traumas,” according to Nylon Manila, when she mentioned the separation.

“Gusto ko, 'pag tapos na, tapos, alam mo 'yon? Or ‘pag may gusto akong mangyari, dapat mangyari na kaagad. But now, I’m allowing myself time to heal, to process things. Ganon kasi ako before, like in the breakup, which really changed me and my mindset,” she said.

“Before, I wanted to get over it to not get hurt or overthink about it or feel bad…We tend to do that just because we don’t want to be affected. Again, I wouldn’t say I’m completely healed from that, like I’m still going through it. But this time, I'm allowing the time and I'm not rushing myself. It would take a long time, but I know I’ll get there.”

To date, Reid and Lustre are known to still have a close relationship. In January 2021, for instance, Reid credited Lustre as a co-writer of his latest single, “Soda,” saying, “She knows what’s in my head.”

Lustre, in her Nylon Manila interview, compared how she once used to deal with traumatic experiences to her current progress. In the case of her breakup with Reid, she has learned that healing is a process that takes time, and not something that can forced.

“I used to just completely shut off from people… no closure, no healing from past traumas, including friendships,” she recalled.

“I've always been afraid of being left behind. I’m afraid of being abandoned, because that’s how it feels when you’re in a relationship for a long time and you separate. It changes you a lot. It makes you feel like there was something wrong with you that’s why the person left you. Before, I would blame myself. I would think to myself: ‘May pagkukulang ako or may ginawa ako.’”

“But you know, I would say I’m slowly ascending from that trauma. You can’t put a timeline on it. It’ll just happen,” she said.

Progress, Lustre pointed out, is not necessarily linear. There are days, she said, when she would still become emotional.

“Of course, I won’t stop myself from feeling sad. That’s also four years of being together….it’s not like I'm not going to cry,” she said.

“Before, I would stop myself from crying because I’d think it would only make me more sad. When you stop feeling that or going through the process, you’re also not allowing yourself from taking a step higher… If I don’t cry about it, it’s going to stay there, bottle up, and eventually, I might break down and get messed up even more,” she explained.

Now, Lustre has allowed herself leeway to cry when the emotions overwhelm.

“But when you’re done,” she said, “you move on.”

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