MANILA — In a video call watched live by thousands Monday night, long-time onscreen partners Bea Alonzo and John Lloyd Cruz shared an intimate look into their relationship behind the cameras, as the actor opened up about his fears and admitted to feeling lonely.

The half-hour video chat surprised the tandem's followers, as it was streamed without prior announcement on Alonzo's Instagram page.

The exchange started on a light note, with Cruz quizzing Alonzo on details that would attest to their years-long friendship.

Cruz has no favorite color, Alonzo correctly answered. His favorite movie which starred both of them is "My First Romance," because of their rawness as actors; and without Alonzo, "Hele sa Hiwagang Hapis." Alonzo got both picks right on the first guess.

Not long after, the test made a serious turn.

"Kailan ako pinakamasaya?" Cruz asked Alonzo.

"'Pag kasama mo si Elias," Alonzo said without hesitation, referring to the actor's one-year-old son with his former partner Ellen Adarna.

Cruz's reaction indicated Alonzo once again answered right.

Alonzo similarly got a nod from Cruz with her response to his final question: "Kailan ako pinakamalungkot?"

"Pag mag-isa ka," she said.

"Pag mag-isa ako," he agreed.

Cruz happened to be alone — no, lonely, he clarified — at his home, even as he had companions including his son.

"Hindi ako mag-isa, pero parang mag-isa. Alam mo 'yun? Alam ko nakakausap kita, 'yung mga kaibigan ko. Pero iba pa rin, parang may pag-iisa pa rin, e. Parang ito ata 'yung pinakamalungkot na uri ng pag-iisa," he said.

In what unfolded to be his most personal exposure since breaking his two-year hiatus from showbiz, Cruz described his loneliness in the context of the coronavirus pandemic, saying he felt selfish to even consider it a struggle when thousands are without jobs and are succumbing to the disease.

"'Yung napapalibutan ka naman ng ibang tao, pero hindi mo alam kung saan nanggagaling 'yung pakiramdam na nagsasabing mag-isa ka pa rin. 'Yung alam mong dapat masaya ka, kasi okay ka naman, masuwerte ka, may bahay ka, nakakakain ka nang higit sa dapat sa isang araw kahit nasa lockdown ka, nakakapag-internet ka. So, 'di ba, dapat masaya ka na?"

"Dapat nagpapasalamat ka na lang, natututo kang makuntento kung ano'ng meron ka, kung nasaan ka. Kasi, pucha, 'yung iba nga wala nang makain, e. 'Yung iba, namamatay na. Ako, okay naman. Masuwerte nga. Pero hindi ko lang talaga masabi kung bakit may ganito kang nararamdaman. Ang sama, e 'no? Parang sarili ko lang iniisip ko, e," he said.

When Alonzo mentioned Elias as Cruz's source of happiness, he got candid about his fear of raising a child in a world that is grappling and will continue to grapple with the implications of the pandemic.

"Alam mo, sa totoo lang, nalulungkot ako para sa anak ko. Actually, hindi lungkot. Natatakot ako para kay Elias. Natatakot ako kung paano ko siya palalakihin sa ganitong mundo, natatakot ako na dito ko siya palalakihin, sa ganitong estado ng mundo," he said.

"Iba na 'yung mundong ginagalawan natin, Bei, e," Cruz went on, addressing Alonzo with her nickname. "Ibang-iba na. Nakakatakot. Ang bilis nang mamatay ngayon, e. Ang bilis nang pumatay."

Cruz's statement came amid the controversy surrounding the death of Winston Ragos, a mentally challenged ex-soldier who was shot by police at a quarantine checkpoint in Quezon City.

"Kaya iniisip ko, matatawag ba nating masuwerte ang mga sarili natin habang 'yung ibang hindi masuwerte, nababaril nang ganun-ganun lang sa kalye? Namamatay nang walang kalaban-laban dahil sa sakit?" Cruz said.

"Ako, nahihirapan akong sabihin na suwerte ako. Nakakahiya. Nakakahiya na masuwerte ka. Wala kang magawa," he said.

While Cruz and Alonzo spent a bulk of their stream discussing the pandemic, the call had other light moments, such as reenactments of their movie lines, and sincere exchanges, with Cruz expressing gratitude to Alonzo for being a constant presence in his life.