It’s always nice to be invited, but to receive invitations for one wedding after another, I started to worry about how all the gifts will hurt my budget. Then it hit me – it’s June and one of the two wedding seasons of the year (December also gets a fair share of wedding celebrations).

Many young women and man have their own dreams for their wedding day. It can be a big or small event, in the city or in a wedding destination out of town or even out of the country, a morning or evening affair, or even a whole-day or whole-week of festivities.

You want your big day to be truly special, but these days, “special” can cost you a whole lot of money. To help make sure that your wedding bells bring you joy, and not a load of wedding bills to pay, here are some advice to kick off your journey towards married bliss.

#1 Agree to wed, and to a wedding budget

Soon after saying yes to his (or her) proposal, sit down and discuss your wedding plans. He may want something very different from what she wants, and in this case, it’s time to negotiate. This is important as many couples end up not walking down the aisle because just preparing for their wedding became too much.

And even if you’re lucky enough to have parents who would pay for your wedding, discussing your wedding day dreams will make sure there will be less to fight about in the coming months, from the venue to number of guests to the flowers down to the cake.

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#2 Say no to using up all your savings

Let’s say you both have savings set aside for your big day. That’s nice, but must you use it all up? What about the day after the wedding? The month after? A couple I know decided to splurge on their wedding day, expecting cash gifts from guests to replenish their savings. Yes, there were cash gifts but nowhere near the total they hoped to receive. Instead, there were more flat irons, oven toasters, and rice cookers. Consider yourselves warned!

#3 Also no to borrowing money

Couples also go into debt to make their romantic wedding dreams happen. It comes down to what’s really important for you both (not just to the bride or groom). I would caution you about going into debt, and a lot of it. Maybe if you are a bit short and want to invite more guests, but if you will also borrow for the wedding cake, and for the fully beaded bridal gown, plus the honeymoon trip, that’s a lot of debt to begin your married life.

#4 It’s okay to ask family and friends to “contribute”

Most family and friends who will be happy to hear your wedding bells will also be happy to be part of your big day. As a couple, discuss who can be asked to “sponsor” parts of your wedding festivities. Can someone take care of the live band? Or the flowers? Or the venue? Or the souvenirs? Every little bit helps, and don’t be shy to ask. But don’t be too bold either. Consider what each of your family members and friends can do for you and ask nicely.

#5 Make known the gifts you want

Gift registries are a big help to guests who don’t know what to give. But lately, I’ve been seeing invitations where the couple lets the guests know exactly what they want. For example, some plan to move to another province or to another country, so a cash gift is more practical. And if you plan to stay right where you are but still prefer cash gifts, just say so. You can print it in the wedding invitations (some do!), or spread the word around. It’s your day, so your rules.

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