IZLA

Badong (Paolo Contis) and Entoy (Archie Alemania) were two brothers working odd jobs for tips in a beach resort. They desperately needed more money to pay off major family debts. When Badong learned that his favorite sexy vloggers, the V-Sisters, were scouting for a major prank idea, he suggested that he could take them to Forbidden Island, fabled for being the home of deadly ninjas since the Japanese occupation. When the sisters accepted his offer, they were in for an insane adventure beyond any of their expectations.

When the opening scene showed barbers telling ludicrous wartime tales about a mysterious island which had laboratories that created so-called "ninjas on call" or "ninja-call" for short (old green joke, groan), you immediately knew that you should not take this movie seriously. Badong and Entoy looking very silly while dancing on a river boat to the tune of "Kapag Tumibok ang Puso," set the tone for the absurd. A news report about tourists missing while taking a tour to the forbidden island set the tone for danger.

The diverse characters within the V-Sisters vlogging group gave director Barry Gonzalez a chance to take little potshots at various female vlogger stereotypes. Veronica (Isabelle Daza) was their serious leader constantly worried about their views and statistics. Valerie (Beauty Gonzales) was the cynical, jaded one. Venus (Ellise Joson) was the charming, bubbly one. Their crew were also as pretty and sexy as them: their producer Gina (Sunshine Garcia), their researcher Lani (Analyn Barro) and their mascot Abby (Aiko Climaco).

Paolo Contis, Archie Alemania and Beauty Gonzales kept the wacky comic energy going throughout. The ever-classy Isabelle Daza felt out of place in these lowbrow shenanigans. In fact, she and Ellise Joson were conspicuously absent in several scenes on the island. Analyn Barro (as the voluptuous and brainy Lani) even had more memorable scenes, with her "shaking the stone" and "reading Japanese" gags. Nino Muhlach was also in the mix as Mayor Aldrin, who knew more about the island than he let on.

As the sex-obsessed Badong, Paolo Contis delivered most of the little raunchy one-liners, most of them actually worked, like the ones about booby traps or gold/bold. There were also a number of zombie visual gags that were so silly, you can't help but laugh out loud for their stupidity, like the "Chariot of Fire"-inspired racing bit, or that security guard zombie with the keys.

Of course, the ditzy girls were funny just by simply screaming and running around like crazy, as it was in all the zombie horror comedies that came before.

Available on KTX.

This review was originally published in the author's blog, "Fred Said."

SA HABA NG GABI

One day, Jhermelyn (Kim Molina) went to work as a housemaid in a huge mansion to help out her cousin Neneng (Candy Pangilinan) who was already working there. That night, the chauffeur Nhoel (Jerald Napoles) drove home the owner of the mansion, Senator (Johnny Revilla), who was accompanied by a young woman Agatha (Andrea Barbierra). Meanwhile outside the house, the village was being ravaged by green-blooded zombies who were roaming the streets biting and killing everyone in their path.

This horror-comedy was only 1 hour and 20 minutes long, but it still felt long. Despite the fact that the film had practically not much substance in it, there were even plenty of scenes that did not really need to be there at all. We did not need to see Jhermelyn say a long goodbye to her parents (Rolando Innocencio and Yayo Aguila), whom we do not see or hear from again for the rest of the film. We did not need to see the tour of the three living rooms of the house, since it did not really matter in the plot.

Poor Kim Molina tried her best to keep Jhermelyn a grounded character, but the odds were really stacked against her with so many senseless situations and lines. One can only tolerate Candy Pangilinan's over-the-top shrill voice so much, but her Neneng just had to be a non-stop chatterbox spouting absolute nonsense. Jerald Napoles's lusty driver Nhoel did nothing much but play serial lover boy to all three female characters. Newcomer Andrea Barbierra still had limited improv skills, and simply could not keep up with the other three veterans.

The "comedy" was more of annoying than funny. The actors seemed to only be making up their silly lines themselves and improvising gags on the fly, so most of them missed than flew. Furthermore, director Miko Livelo was not able to create enough creepy atmosphere for the horror aspect to work. The musical score and the editing did not build up any sense of dread, danger or suspense. The lighting of the scenes was very uneven, and there seemed to be a different color filter even in consecutive frames.

There was no explanation and set-up at all as to why there were zombies. All we get is an inane TV bulletin from the Public Health Department where an incompetent official was advising the public not to call situation a zombie apocalypse, but a blessing to be able to see dead relatives again. There was something about the blood turning green that came up towards the end, but it was just a throw-away line that did not make any sense. At least, the zombie make-up was quite good, so that deserves a point at least.

Available on Vivamax.

This review was originally published in the author's blog, "Fred Said."