Herbert Bautista and Kris Aquino. FILE/Composite
'I agreed,' Kris recalls
MANILA - TV host Kris Aquino revealed on Tuesday that her ex-boyfriend, Quezon City Mayor Herbert Bautista, asked her at one point to marry him.
In a rare blog entry titled "The State of My Heart," Aquino gave details of her past relationship with the former actor, with whom she has renewed ties as friends.
However, Aquino said she has realized she can no longer be friends with Bautista, as "continuing the friendship will continue to make me long for what wasn't meant to be."
According to Aquino, Bautista first asked for her number on February 11, 2014 -- the second telecast date of "Aquino & Abunda Tonight," her nightly talk program with long-time co-host Boy Abunda
Two months later in April, the actor-politician proposed marriage.
"This is the first time I'll publicly acknowledge this, because I can now recall with absolutely no bitterness or regrets; on the first Friday of April nearly a year ago during merienda, he said he was tired, he didn't want to play games, he was tired of chasing and of running away, and he wanted to feel secure with someone he could grow old with. He said, walang romance, walang lokohan, walang bolahan. Okay na raw ba 'ko to marry him kasi nga pagod na siya?
"I remember laughing and saying that was probably the least romantic proposal any woman has ever received, but because we were so similar in our weirdness, I was in agreement; I wanted to grow old with him because I knew we'd never be bored conversing, and maybe this was where God led two individuals who deserved a chance at life-long companionship with maturity, and full acceptance of equally colorful pasts."
Aquino narrated what transpired in the following days, including attending a Catholic mass together, and Bautista's first meeting with her family. She recalled that day as particularly emotional one, as she and Bautista discussed their expectations of each other.
"I said I realized he never said he loved me, he was simply tired, and I didn't want to be his version of Salonpas, Alaxan, Ben Gay, or a massage. He cried too and said he was scared, overwhelmed, afraid of being branded a 'user' when he has given the majority of his life to public service, and maybe we should take a step back," she said.
On April 7, 2014, Aquino spoke for the first time about her ties with Bautista on "Aquino & Abunda Tonight." She confirmed that they were indeed "partners," ending weeks of speculation.
"The next day, over the phone he broke up with me, right before Bimb's (her son) 7th birthday party," Aquino said in her blog, without giving details.
While neither Aquino nor Bautista never gave a specific reason for the separation, it was reported that the city mayor's children with former partner Tates Gana were negatively affected by news on the relationship.
Aquino admitted being heartbroken over the breakup, and shared in her blog the ways she coped. She said she avoided any place or thing that she associated with him, including a fast food outlet, a cinema house, a restaurant, a figurine he gave her, a brand of sports drink and two Starbucks branches, among others.
"I cut off more than 18 inches of my hair," she recalled, "because I wanted to forget how I must have looked with hair all over my face and pillow, when he used to surprise me by waking me up and bringing me my venti nonfat latte with no foam, just because his day would be so hectic and early morning was the only time he could see me, regardless of my still being fast asleep."
Aquino also listed the places she traveled to after the breakup -- Hong Kong, New York City, Boracay and Tokyo, among others -- saying being away also helped her heal.
"The last time I cried about him was Christmas Eve. I remembered an earlier agreement that we had made, when he asked early in our relationship how we'd deal with the holidays, I said that my non-negotiable was Christmas Eve Mass with my family, but Christmas Day was for him and his siblings and his kids. And I went to sleep with tears quietly streaming down my face, sad that we hadn't made it."
While Aquino earlier said she has managed to stay friends with Bautista, she sang a different tune in her blog. She shared the events of February 15, a day after her 44th birthday.
"I kept to myself and slept most of February 15. And I was proud of surviving... Inayawan niya ako, I'd like to think not me the actual person, but the complicated baggage that comes with having a relationship with me.
"He called 4 times that Sunday, the day after my birthday, and I just didn't pick up. Bimb saw his name flashing on my phone, and he told me: 'Mama, go ahead talk to him because when you talk to him, you get happy. But remember after, you get so sad and I hate seeing you cry.' And BOOM, that was my wake up call, my long avoided wisdom coming from the innocence of my 7 year old."
It was then, Aquino recalled, that she realized that "this whole experience of trying to love again was meant to teach me, to be humble that for a man not ready to commit, I will never be enough."
She added: "I needed for my love to be declined for me to value those who accept my love with so much gratitude, and I needed to realize this important life truth: True love doesn’t find you, neither do you find it. You build true love together, and you can’t do that when you're tired, jaded, or weary. Love is built by those who have inspiration, determination, fortitude, trustworthiness, loyalty, courage, childlike faith, openness, enthusiasm, and enchantment with what is, plus all that will be."