How to help someone who is grieving


Posted at Oct 31 2022 04:00 PM

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MANILA — Consoling someone who has been bereaved can be difficult. Everyone's experience of grief is different.

As the country observes All Saints' Day and All Souls' Day, a grief counselor offers quick ways on how to support someone who is going through a difficult time.

No timeline for grieving

According to Charity Joyce Marohombsar, grief is a process and doesn't have a timeline. It doesn't unfold in stages.

"The best metaphor to look at grief is it's like an ocean. It ebbs and it flows," she told ANC's "Headstart".

Listen well

The best thing you can offer to someone who is grieving is a willing ear, Marohombsar said. You can comfort them by just being there.

"A lot of times, there's nothing we can really say. So, our mere presence is more than enough," she said.

Offer support

Ask what you can do for a bereaved person. Offer practical assistance such as taking care of their children or run errands.

"You can say, "Anytime you need us, we are here for you,'" the counselor said.

Send prayers

Since you can't erase the pain of the bereaved person’s loss, keep sending them prayers, Marohombsar said.

"Our life is a prayer. Where we can't ease the pain, God eases the pain for us. So, prayer helps a lot," she said.

What not to say to someone who is grieving

"My grief is worse than yours. Nakaya ko, makakaya mo."

"There is a reason for this."

"You are strong. Kaya mo 'yan."