Why 'move on' may not be the best advice for the grieving


Posted at Oct 31 2017 10:09 AM

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MANILA - When comforting those who are grieving, it is important to "meet them where they are," a psychologist said Tuesday.

Telling someone to move on when they’re not ready to do so is "very painful," said Ateneo Bulatao Center counselling psychologist Sofia Lina.

"For the person who has lost someone hearing that is like ‘Why are you telling me to forget? Are you telling me not to treasure this person?’," she told ANC's Headstart.

"That’s very insulting, very hurtful, and it doesn’t help because they’re already dealing with something and they get upset with you," she said.

What's important is for family and friends to sync the support they can give to what stage the grieving is in, Lina said.

"If they’re in the denial stage, don’t try to push the reality of it on them because that will also be very traumatic. If they’re angry, that’s where they are," she said.