More than 5 out of 10 Filipinos experienced ghosting: Bumble survey

Josiah Antonio, ABS-CBN News

Posted at Sep 23 2022 02:35 PM

 A couple sits along the breakwater on Manila Bay on Friday as storm clouds gather on the horizon. Jonathan Cellona, ABS-CBN News/File
A couple sits along the breakwater on Manila Bay on Friday as storm clouds gather on the horizon. Jonathan Cellona, ABS-CBN News/File

MANILA — More than 5 out of 10 Filipinos have experienced ghosting, according to a survey commissioned by the dating app Bumble.

By definition, Urban Dictionary states that ghosting is an act "when a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice beforehand." 

"You'll mostly see them avoiding friend's phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public," it added.

Based on the figures stated by YouGov Singapore Pte. Ltd., around 56% of the 1,118 single adult respondents aged 18-41 years old have experienced ghosting.

Around 46% of the people surveyed from August 5 to 16 admitted that they have ghosted someone due to various reasons.

A significant reason for some so-called "ghosters," or 60% of the figures, is that they "deem the connection not significant enough to merit further conversation," with one-third of them choosing to ghost even before the first date.

Around 46% of singles also blame a busy schedule as the second most popular reason for ghosting, it added. 

Because of the said reasons, around 48% of Filipino respondents felt discouraged about dating after being ghosted, and 73% did not believe that ghosting was a suitable way to end a relationship.

"At Bumble, we have a firm 'anti-ghosting' policy as we believe it is always better to have open, honest, and kind conversations if you'd like to end a relationship, or even just a correspondence," said Lucille McCart, APAC communications director of Bumble. 

“If you have experienced ghosting and it has impacted your confidence or made you feel disheartened, just know it’s likely because your match has poor communication skills, not any shortcomings of your own. Either way, move forward with the knowledge that they aren't the right match for you," she added. 

Here are some of Bumble's anti-ghosting tips and reminders as part of its latest campaign:

- A friendly message is always better than silent treatment if someone you’ve connected with reaches out and you’re no longer interested. Ideally, a breakup should happen face to face, but if you’ve been seeing someone casually or have only been on a few dates, a text is okay. 

- Even though it can be awkward and anxiety-inducing, being upfront about how you feel is less offensive to the other person than cutting off communication with no explanation. That kind of behavior can be upsetting and damaging, and it is much nicer to let them down gently. 

- Rejection can be kind and compassionate in its delivery - just think about how you would like to be treated if the situation was reversed. Always keep your messages positive. 

- If you're breaking the news via text, keep it short and sweet. If you're doing it in person, arrange to meet for a quick coffee or a walk in the park, so that it is less awkward if the other person wants to leave right away. Going for a meal or a drink will mean there is more hanging around, and might send the wrong impression and leave them even more disappointed.

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