WATCH: Charice returns to Oprah

ABS-CBN News

Posted at Oct 20 2014 12:46 PM | Updated as of Oct 20 2014 08:46 PM

MANILA -- Filipino singer Charice reunited with international talk show host Oprah Winfrey when she appeared for the Oprah Winfrey Network's "Where Are They Now," which aired on Sunday (Monday morning, Manila time).

Charice was first introduced by Winfrey on her show on May 2008, which helped propel the young singer on the international stage, which included stints on the TV show "Glee," as well as roles in Hollywood movies.

However, this was Charice's first interview with Winfrey, whom she considers her "godmother," after coming out on "The Buzz" as a lesbian last year.

"I just want to share my story to the people out there who are having a situation like mine. When I came out, everything started. All the struggles happened when I came out," Charice told Winfrey, who asked her why she wants to talk now.

Charice admitted she knew she was gay when she was five but denied that she is planning to have an operation to become male.

"Basically my soul is male but I'm not gonna go to that stage that I'm going to change everything," she said, adding that she will "not change my body."

I can change like cut my hair, wear boy clothes and everything but that's all," she said.

In the interview, Charice also said she was initially afraid to admit that she was gay for fear that people might no longer like her.

"That night when I was thinking of coming out, I was ready to lose my career, lose my fans. I was confident that I won't lose my family because I knew that eventually they will understand me," Charice said.

The singer also revealed that she went through a period of depression before deciding to come out.

"Before I came out, I was already a mess. When I was this person (the old me), it was like a character that I was portraying for my mom, for my family, to be happy. When my father (Ricky) got murdered, that's when everything fell apart and I [got] depressed," she recalled.

The singer again denied rumors that she tried to commit suicide but admitted that she thought of taking her life.

"I didn't slit my wrist but I thought of it. That was after my father got murdered and I wasn't okay with my family, I wasn't talking with my mom. Losing my dad, we didn't have closure. When I went to the funeral, I just saw him there and regretted everything that I wished I could have," she recalled. "I took all those feelings and pain in me and that made me stronger to tell myself that it's time to stand up and get there."

Asked if she feels that her father's death liberated her, Charice replied: "They give me chills, the feeling is just coming back right now. It's just terrible, the feeling after he died, the feeling of being alone, I was alone. Very few friends I just told and I know my mom felt it. I just felt that she didn't just want to admit it. She was angry," she said.

After her emotional confession, Charice told Winfrey that she and her mother have reconciled and that she's happy with her partner, Alyssa Quijano.

"I can say now that we are really like best friends, I can't ask for more, I am happy," she said.