How Hayden moved on after sex video scandal

ABS-CBN News

Posted at Oct 12 2014 04:07 PM | Updated as of Dec 04 2017 10:41 AM

MANILA – Hayden Kho credits his faith for helping him through his struggles in relation to the 2009 sex video scandal which he got involved in.

Speaking to Boy Abunda on “The Bottomline,” Kho said his faith led him to discover what his real purpose is.

“Mabuti, masaya ako. I would say na may meaning 'yung buhay mo kaya masaya. You get the whole story and then you know your place in the story. Unlike before, I was like a sheep na umiiwas lang ako bumangga sa ibang sheep and I was asking the question kung bakit ako nandito. Before, I had no answers,” he said.

Describing himself as “a man with a mission,” Kho said he would like to use his past mistakes in order to reach out and help other people.

Asked if he has already forgiven himself for his past mistakes, Kho said: ”It was really hard to forgive myself. In fact, it was even hard to love myself because I know that I have done so many things in the past na ayaw ko malaman ng tao, na ikinahihiya ko dahil mali or basta nakakahiya lang talaga. Lahat tayo we are all seeking an identity.”

The doctor-turned-actor said he has also sought the forgiveness of the people he have wronged.

“It was personal. Unfortunately, hindi naman lahat nag-respond,” he said. “It matters to me [that they respond] and I think also to them. Sa akin kasi, in my own experience, kapag meron akong tao na hindi nafo-forgive, that unforgiven man controls my life. I think, sa akin naman kung bakit ako humihingi ng apology sa mga tao, kasi I think they deserve an apology.”

Looking back at his controversial life, Kho said he is glad to have changed and that the “need to be in the spotlight” does not anymore tempt him.

“Kasi noon recognition is enjoyable. Romance is pleasurable. Even sex is pleasurable. I don’t want to lie. Ayaw ko sabihin na hindi ako nag-iisip ng mga ganitong bagay. But kailangan 'yung araw-araw na exercise na kailangan mo pigilan ang saril mo, the three classic sins, lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh and the pride of life. Araw-araw 'yan yumayabang ka habang may nagsasabi sayo na ‘Ang galing mo naman. Ang bait mo.’ It is tough,” he said.

Saying “it is better to shun the bait that struggle with the snare,” Kho said: “Iwasan ko na lang kaysa ma-trap ka tapos pilitin mo makaalis doon.”