Charice: 'Mahal ba ako ng sarili kong bansa?'

ABS-CBN News

Posted at Sep 29 2014 07:49 PM | Updated as of Sep 30 2014 04:41 AM

Singer Charice Pempengco. ABS-CBN

MANILA -- Charice Pempengco expressed doubt as to whether Filipinos are truly proud of her after earning international recognition over the years.

The 22-year-old singer took to Instagram on Monday to lament the "bullying" she has received time and again from Filipino viewers despite her achievements on the international stage.

Since she debuted on American television in 2007, Charice has gone on tour with Canadian composer David Foster, released albums internationally, nabbed a guest role in the TV musical "Glee," and appeared in the comedy movie "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squekquel," among others.

Despite these achievements, according to Charice, Filipino viewers tend to dwell on her supposed shortcomings and continue to criticize her for her looks, her personal life, and more recently, her sexuality.

In June 2013, Charice made international headlines when she confirmed on "The Buzz" that she is lesbian, ending months of speculation.

Charice said that whenever she appears on local TV, she hesitates to open her social media accounts for fear of seeing the latest bout of criticisms directed, not at her performance, but at her person.

The "Pyramid" hitmaker added that, sometimes, she cannot help but think whether having the good looks of a matinee idol would make Filipinos appreciate her more for the same achievements.

Here is Charice's full message on Instagram:

"Ito lang nasa isip ko ng ilang taon na. Ang showbiz dito sa Pilipinas, mahirap. 'Di ko alam ang status ko, kung mahal ba ako ng sarili kong bansa o kailangan ko paring i-prove 'yung sarili ko?

"Sa ilang taon na nagta-trabaho ako, hindi man kasing tagal ng ibang idols niyo, mahirap parin 'yung pinagdaanan ko.

"Nakikipag sapalaran [ako] sa bansang 'di ko naman kinalakihan. Napasama ako sa mga malalaking TV shows, pero pagdating ko dito, iba parin ang hinahanap as akin, iba parin ang nilalait sa akin -- pananalita ko, itsura ko, mga sinusuot ko, buhok ko, sekswalidad ko, buhay ko, lahat na.

"Napapagkamalan akong mayabang. Dahil ba nakatungtong [ako] ng ibang bansa? Pinagtatawanan ako dati kasi raw mali-mali Ingles ko, pati ibang artista (kung puwede lang mag-drop names). May oras na puro laman ng news ay halos issues kaysa sa achievements na nakukuha ko.

"Kaya minsan, nandoon 'yung oras na parang may wall ako sa harap ko, straight lang mukha ko. Kasi ayoko na nung time na inaapi at pinagtatawanan ako. Gusto ko may respeto kahit kaunti.

"Nakikita ko ang mga taong nagmamahal sa akin at nagpapasalamat ako sa lahat. Pero aminin natin na pag kumanta na ako dito, nakakatakot buksan ang ibang social networks. Ang daming bully.

"Ito, joke ito sa isip ko. Natatawa ako pag iniisip, pero medyo totoo din. Minsan iniisip ko -- kung kamukha kaya ako ng isa sa pinaka guwapong artista ngayon, tapos same achievements, iba kaya ang trato?

"Nagsasabi lang po ako ng totoo. Ganito na talaga ngayon.

"Masarap lang ilabas ang nararamdaman, pero salamat kay Lord at pinpatatag Niya ako. Sa lahat ng reklamo ko, kuntento na ako. Basta nandiyan 'yung mga totoong taong nagmamahal sa akin. I love you back at patuloy ang buhay!

"Good night sa inyo at pasensya na kung naduling kayo sa post ko. God bless!"