MANILA — Former "American Idol" contestant David Archuleta on Sunday looked back on the day he came out as a member of the LGBTQ community during Pride Month.
In a lengthy Facebook post, Archuleta recalled his own struggle with coming out.
"A year ago tomorrow I was pulling weeds and felt in my heart I needed to open up about something that before I always considered unthinkable. Unimaginable," Archuleta said.
"Always considered my greatest fear. But that day I felt [at] peace with myself. I wasn’t afraid anymore of who all of me meant. Even if that meant I liked guys," he added.
Archuleta said he had no plans of coming out during Pride Month and talked about the turmoil he felt.
"It was just the natural flow of events the days prior coming to terms with myself and deciding to say it out loud after ending an engagement I had to a great and understanding girl just a couple weeks before. I didn’t want to hide anymore. It was causing a lot of turmoil inside," he said.
He felt that marrying a girl would solve him but he also knew it was not the right thing to do.
"Running from yourself when you’re always stuck with yourself. Isn’t the way to solve things. I thought marrying would solve it. She was one of 3 that I came close to marrying. Each time inside I knew something was wrong and I wasn’t being fully honest with myself or to the girls I was dating. They always thought it was them. I hope they know it was just me not understanding why I was the way I was. Why I couldn’t connect with them or like them more," he said.
Archuleta said he didn’t want to pretend to have "a picture perfect life with a beautiful girl." He noted how a friend of his went through such an ordeal.
"A couple months before I ended the engagement one of my friends told me her story how she married someone who was part of the lgbt+ community. He tried to hide it too until he couldn’t anymore and she found out over a decade into their marriage. The anger and hatred he felt. The way he acted out on that," he said.
Archuleta said that even as he felt sorry for his friend, he also related to her ex-husband.
"I felt that same anger and hatred and resentment building and growing inside of me already. I didn’t want to be that. I knew the way to find peace was to let all of me come forward and not judge or despise myself. It’s made all of the difference. It was scary. Terrifying. You consider ending your life as a better option than coming to terms with being gay or lgbtqia+," he added.
He ended his post by comforting people who are also struggling with coming out.
"I just want to let any of you going through that struggle know that it’s ok to be you. Even if others don’t understand. Dare to be you. If those around you still don’t understand you will draw people to you who will love you for all of you! Not only for the parts they want to see and not just under conditions of you hiding your queerness because they don’t understand what that experience is like. If you’re queer, Being queer is beautiful. Let yourself blossom," Archuleta said.
The singer also said that he is still trying to figure things out.
"They call it pride month. I’m learning what that means for me. To have pride in who all I am is. Including being gay or bi or queer. Idk what word to use I think queer is a good broad term lol. But I’m not too worried about picking either. I’m letting myself figure myself out with time. I spent 30 years trying to disregard it. I imagine it’ll take time to fully understand myself."
Last year, Archuleta came out as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, saying one can be queer and still believe in God.
He detailed his struggle with his sexuality and faith, despite being uncomfortable sharing it, in a lengthy note posted on his Twitter and Instagram accounts.
June is Pride Month.