MANILA—For the first time, John Lloyd Cruz opened up about becoming a first-time parent with former partner and co-star Ellen Adarna.
Cruz and Adarna welcomed their first child, Elias Modesto, in June 2018. The two have since separated and currently have a co-parenting setup.
Cruz spoke at length about fatherhood in an interview with Mega’s G3 San Diego, released on Wednesday.
“Hindi siya ganun kadali. Parang pang pelikula lang pala yung ano—yung parang nalaman mo parang, ‘Magiging tatay na ako!’. Para sa akin hindi. I mean, kung ano yung nangyari sa akin, hindi. To each its own. Baka naman sa iba, totoo ‘yun and you can never tell kung ‘yun ay totoo o hindi. Okay yan, ‘yung nangyari sayo. Pero para sa akin… We wanted it eh. Alam naman na namin na it was going to happen,” Cruz said.
The “One More Chance” star recalled that Adarna’s pregnancy and Elias’ birth came at a tumultuous time.
“Halu-halo kasi siya eh. Ang dami nangyari at that time. Like yung father ni Ellen passed away two weeks before pinanganak si Elias and she was going through motherhood, becoming a mother and our own personal issues. Di ba parang lahat ang dami nangyari. And halos walang time actually to reflect on what’s happening on a day-to-day basis,” Cruz said.
Without giving details, Cruz recalled that he “was going through my own” personal situation.
Cruz admitted he has seldom had the chance to sit down and process the changes in his life since becoming a father.
“But ‘pag may mga random or mga unexpected na conversations and you actually ponder on being a father, ‘yun lang naman talaga yung time na mapapaisip ka na, ‘Oo nga noh?’ Kasi napaka-ano niya eh, matrabaho siya so—parang practical siya,” he said.
“It’s very physical as well, so nandun ka sa physicality of being a father, parang minsan lang naman yung mapapaisip ka and mapapa-reflect ka na, it feels nice ah.”
Cruz had a quick answer when asked what qualities of himself he sees in Elias: “Ayokong makita sarili ko. Wala.”
“Bibig, mata,” he conceded. “Meron siyang ginagawa sa bibig niya, sa mata na kakabahan ka eh kasi… pero magbabago pa naman ‘yon. But he’s very stubborn like me and like the mother.”
Cruz also opened up about how he spends time with Elias, whenever the boy is with him, saying they usually have an active day of playing and then a lazy night before bedtime.
“So pagka ganun, at you see him winding down at night, pipikit-pikit yung mata niya nilalabanan niya. ‘Yun yung gustong gusto ko na parang alam mo na napagod siya today so it’s a good day,” he said.
Asked what his dreams are for his son, Cruz instead gave an example of moments that have made him proud of Elias.
“Pinaka-proud ako hearing him say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ ‘Yun lang naman yung parang munting pangarap ko nung pinanganak siya na sana matuto siya mag ‘please’ at ‘thank you,’” he said.
FROM THE ARCHIVES