Losing weight was 'always' a struggle: Jessy admits to once starving herself skinny

ABS-CBN News

Posted at Mar 06 2019 11:20 PM | Updated as of Mar 07 2019 01:45 AM

Jessy Mendiola shares her journey to self love in an inspiring post on Instagram Tuesday.

As everyone knows, Jessy Mendiola's journey to self love was quite tumultuous, as criticism about her body weight led to her once adopting dangerous habits. 

In an Instagram post Tuesday, she confessed that she would "kill" herself at the gym and "starve" herself after reading the vitriol that greeted her online at the onset of her career. 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Losing/maintaining weight has always been a struggle for me. I only started taking my health seriously some time last year. It’s so hard to be in tip-top shape especially when a lot of people try to put you down and tell you how you’re supposed to look. Sometimes you’re too thin, sometimes too fat. I used to hate my thighs and arms. I would always kill myself at the gym just to achieve unrealistic body goals and starve myself just to reach my weight goal, 100lbs (2nd pic, 110lbs). I was depressed and heartbroken at that time (2013) and I gained 25lbs (3rd pic). I still kept pushing myself to work out every day. I suffered from Bulimia and B.E.D (Binge Eating Disorder), desperate to lose weight in a short period of time – from 135lbs I went down to 103lbs (4th pic). I starved myself just to lose unwanted weight... to look “perfect” but I was so unhappy. I couldn’t live my life the way I wanted to. I was usually weak and “lutang” because I didn’t have enough nutrients in my body. This kept going until 2016 when I suddenly gained all the weight back and eventually hit my heaviest weight, 140lbs. Because of all the hate online, the struggle with myself kept going until 2017 (5th pic). It was only last year when I started changing my workouts and eating habits with the help of @bodybymamakat & @nadinetengco and of course to @luckymanzano. He made me feel better every time I felt so insecure about myself and he helped me recover from my depression and made me feel loved every single day. ❤️ Sorry for this long caption. I guess all I’m trying to say is, it doesn’t matter how long it takes for you to find inner peace and whatever works for you, just stick to that. I am far from perfect but this is who I am and this is how I love myself. I love myself enough to eat what I want to make myself feel good. I love myself enough to move everyday because I want to live my life as best as possible. I know it’s hard sometimes but you just gotta stand back up and try again. To whoever is reading this, accept yourself and work hard to be the best version of yourself. You do YOU. Btw, I’m doing a fitness journey vlog soon comment below what you want me to share with you! ❤️

A post shared by Jessy Mendiola (@senorita_jessy) on

"I was depressed and heartbroken at that time," she said, saying that this was around 2013, a couple of years before she was named the country's "sexiest woman" by a men's magazine. 

Jessy Mendiola shares that it was around 2013 (the time these pictures were taken) when she developed dangerous habits and eating disorders just to lose weight.

She revealed that before she won the title, she suffered from an eating disorder due to her desperation to lose weight. 

She said she wanted to look "perfect," even if this meant that she was unhappy with her lifestyle. 

It was only last year when Mendiola overhauled her health and fitness regimens to positive effects. She credits the change to her coach and trainer, boyfriend Luis Manzano. 

"He made me feel better every time I felt so insecure about myself and he helped me recover from my depression and made me feel loved every single day," she wrote. 

Mendiola is sharing her fitness journey to reiterate her message of loving one's body. 

"I guess all I'm trying to say is, it doesn't matter how long it takes for you to find inner peace and whatever works for you, just stick to that," she advised. "I am far from perfect but this is who I am and this is how I love myself."

"I love myself enough to eat what I want to make myself feel good. I love myself enough to move everyday because I want to live my life as best as possible. I know it’s hard sometimes but you just gotta stand back up and try again. 

"To whoever is reading this, accept yourself and work hard to be the best version of yourself. You do YOU."