MANILA – Kylie Padilla turned to social media to open up about being diagnosed with postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety three years ago just before the COVID-19 pandemic began.
At that time, she had just given birth to her second child Axl and the “chemistry in my body was out of my control, hormonal fluctuations took a toll on my emotional journey.”
Padilla said complications from childbirth hindered her from taking care of her children.
“I've never opened up about this but I was in constant pain, constant doubt of my future, if my body would ever recover, If I could even stand or walk properly ever again,” she said.
“I had to learn to muster the strength to trust that my body would heal, that I would regain my strength again because it killed me to accept that I had no choice but to trust the care of my kids to someone else,” she added.
While she missed her kids so much, Padilla knew she had to rest to be able to recover and look after them.
But the next few years proved to be more challenging for her that she thought if there was any kind of future left for her.
Amid the uncertainties, Padilla said: “At some point, the Universe paved a way for me. She led me here. To today. I just remember praying, ‘Give me another chance and I won't ever take it for granted. Give me another chance to pursue what will truly fulfil me.’”
Today, she wakes up with her children and a work she’s proud of. One by one, her dreams are becoming a reality, Padilla said.
“After all my doubt, pain and fighting the silent battles, fighting my own psyche for the right to be happy, I'm here. Still growing, still learning but always striving to remain grounded in humility. What was once a period in my life I no longer wanted to remember is now something I remember with fondness. Without that pain I would appreciate my now.”
Padilla said she is grateful for those challenging years’ humbling effect on her.
“[O]ne thing is for sure, we will all return to dust. All we can ever really take is our memories that we turn into stories. Where our journey and strength will hopefully be passed on. My kids. My story. And the moment I knew it's not just about being happy but about authenticity. Because no one could ever be happy pretending to be something they aren't. And I'm done pretending,” she said.
Ultimately, Padilla said the message she wants to convey is for everyone to not get stuck in a bad place.
“Know that life is a cycle and good and bad it all passes. Be in the moment but don't be swept away from it. Live in your authenticity. Repair when you can. Laugh or make someone laugh and last but not least celebrate yourself. You deserve it.”