Marcos spin doctors overjoyed their client finally has a really thick face

Hot Manila - by Alan Robles

Posted at Aug 28 2015 02:48 PM | Updated as of Aug 28 2015 10:48 PM

Spin doctors of Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos Junior yesterday rejoiced their client has finally grown a "thick, deceit-worthy face."
They exulted after seeing Marcos junior declare "what am I to say sorry about?" when his dictator father's crimes were alluded to in a TV interview early this week.

"Did you see that? He didn't bat an eyelash!" shouted one political consultant, part of an anxious team of spin doctors, child psychologists, speech coaches, evil shamans, orcs and hobgoblins gathered at a media "war room" in the Imelda Marcos Post-Industrial Facelift and Plunder Suisse Clinque.

"Houston we have lift off! The face is thick! The face is thick," yelled another staffer as the room erupted into cheers and fist/claw pumps and high fives, knocking styrofoam cups of cold coffee to the floor.

Bongbong Marcos' father, Ferdinand, illegally ruled as a dictator from 1972 to 1986, when he was chased out. His brutal military regime murdered at least 3,200 Filipinos, tortured and incarcerated thousands more, and stole at least US$10 billion, part of which has been recovered. Marcos junior is believed to be one of the account holders and beneficiaries of the hidden wealth stolen from the nation.

A consultant explained: "Before this week we were worried about junior. He choked on big lies. He told us his problem with his dad, who keeps appearing in a dream and mocking him, saying 'you don't know how to lie crap, junior, and you'll never be my equal.'

"But after this performance, we can honestly say - he is worthy!"

A spin doctor said, "Did you see that thick face? That face is so thick it's bullet proof! Did you see the way his lip curled up? that's a vintage Marcos sneer!"

"I wish I could slap Bongbong's face!" an analyst shouted, then hastily added "just to prove it's now so thick now he won't feel it anyway."

A shaman from Sheetwick Malign Worldwide, consultant on the occult, noted how during the interview a big fly landed on Bongbong's's head and stayed there. "It's a message from Marcos senior, junior is the anointed one, the receiver of the Holy Stinking Bangaw."

One spin doctor explained, "It helped he got such marshmallow questions. We were sweating bullets the interviewer would call his bluff and ask him, 'where do you get your money?' or 'tell us about your fake degree', or 'what about all the loot your family brought to Hawaii in 1986?' or 'the Swiss government identified hundreds of millions of dollars in Marcos accounts that it said were criminal.'

"Instead she never interrupted our boy and let him run through another thickfaced list of lies about his dad's accomplishments. Booyah!"

A strategist said, "with our PR company, the newspapers we've acquired, the print columnists and reporters we've bought, we are locked and loaded and good to go. A Bongbong presidential run is on the table."

Excitedly, the room erupted with the Marcos campaign's slogan: "THIS NATION CAN BE RAPED AGAIN."

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