We’re April fools at ANCX, and we’ve come up with a list of personalities and social media accounts that we follow because there’s nothing like laughter to get you through a hard day, a lonesome lunch, a snaking queue home, or a crime scene on the highway you pass every day to work. Here’s our pick of rib-crackers and subtle jokers, and snarky gamesters, and people we secretly hope to be.
Bigboy Cheng (IG)
While we do recognize that we need to be more gender sensitive every day, we’re a generation raised on Gary Lising and Tito, Vic and Joey’s Tough Hits—so once in a while we do miss that kind of, well, tito humor. Thank heavens for sneaker collector, art collector and mattress heir Bigboy Cheng. Through his Instagram, we still get our occasional dose of sometimes green, sometimes so-funny-it’s-a-little-offensive jokes, and gags—like when he recently sang the Tagalog version of Angelina to a Parisian lady, or when he was looking for a spakol at Paris’s Hotel Lutetia.
Ethel Booba (Twitter)
Booba is a veritable charot of fire, with her witticisms slaying man, woman and bird alike in the twitterverse. There’s real truth in satire—especially in the kind of political satire Booba pens, tweets, and lets loose into the digital atmosphere during campaign season (or just about any season local politics gets heated). Ending all her tweets with her signature “Charot!” (for which there isn’t an actual English translation), the word is the verbal equivalent of a smiley after saying a scathing remark or snarky political commentary. Ethel Booba for Senator. Charot!
Nakaregister na ata sa kanila yan as family business. Charot! https://t.co/raADWSmHMx— Ethel Booba (@IamEthylGabison) March 30, 2019
Suicidal thoughts? Charot! https://t.co/1tFCp51dhK— Ethel Booba (@IamEthylGabison) February 27, 2019
Paolo Lorenzana (FB)
This publisher of the magazine Team started to regale his Facebook friends and followers early this year with his aspirational matronly ambitions, dispensing suggestions on how to live our best life as an up-and-coming BGC matriarch with a concern for reducing plastic use at our suking supermarket.
He’s been on vacation for quite a while—attending a stone carving workshop in the US—and quite frankly we already don’t know what to do with ourselves while waiting to make sundo our kid from Beacon. Paolo, tell us when you’re back so we can make padaan with the tsuper our gift: a small jar of foie gras fat.
Sample post 1
“On my way to becoming a #matriarch, I really want to conquer the village bazaar circuit. Proud to share that after some practice, I am finally making (intact) loaves of Japanese milk bread and starting a home-baked goods business that I am naming either #Hokkaidough or #Japayuki. Currently, mas-type ko ang latter because I admire the drive and perseverance of people who learn a foreign language and country’s customs in order to seek out greener pastures. A matriarch-in-waiting has gotta start somewhere din naman.”
Sample post 2
“I wish I had the option of being a mommy blogger.
“I feel like I’m an insufferable tiger mom posing as a calm empathetic mom, but trapped in a gay man’s body. So without kids, all this willing the best future for something has mostly been expressed through baked goods.
“Making a decent pizza with my new pizza stone feels like the equivalent of getting my daughter a proper piano teacher and it finally paying off. She can play a bit of Chopin now, thank God. She’s got talent even if she’s still a little bit ugly.”
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Yan Yuzon (FB)
Yan is an acting coach over at the GMA Network. He was formerly vocalist and guitarist for Pupil and his own band Archipelago. More importantly he used to be a gag show writer. Does that have anything to do with how funny he is on Facebook? Maybe. Yan is at his funniest online when fighting trolls and replying—to DDS commenters—with the anger of someone who woke up from the wrong side of the bed and was served 3-in-1 coffee. Also, he doesn’t exactly like Larry Gaddon—“Mukha siyang Russ Troll.” Yan is also a mental health advocate and probably one of the best writers online. But our best memory of Yan’s antics is still the #tulfotwang series which he rolled out at the height of the Tulfo brood’s infamy August last year.
Coco Quizon (IG)
Not all Quizons are funny—but Dolphy and Coco Quizon are. Coco is the brand manager of Sunnies Specs and a social media strategist. Her IG stories revolve around her online shopping purchases, her service water reviews (she once ranked them and Via Mare Greenbelt was declared her fave house water), and her dog Nelson. Her IG bio says “Interests include retail, pottery and 0 % installment for 24 hours.”
Chel Diokno (Twitter)
Everyone’s favorite woke lolo is water to the President’s fire. He’s so cool, butter won’t melt in his mouth. Which means that he’s currently a favorite whipping boy—a role he’s playing so coolly, the ire directed at him seems so funny and extra. It’s almost as if he’s handing his detractors the whip—the harder they strike, the cooler he seems.
Salamat sa plug, Pangulo! C-H-E-L as in "Wag mainit ulo, Chel ka lang." 😎 https://t.co/AUba6wkGVp— Chel Diokno (@ChelDiokno) March 13, 2019
Hot Manila—political commentary (FB)
Their FAKE News reports as they relate to China and local politics comprise some of the funniest political commentary out there. It’s not LOL funny; it’s intelligently funny, more snigger than roll-on-the-floor, and so very precise. With Hot Manila, politics is one extended April Fool’s joke. Which is sad and funny at the same time.
Filipino Tweets that Matter (FTTM) (Twitter)
For the sawi among us, there’s nothing like poking fun at our present pain—whether this means love lost, or love unrequited, or love that never stood a chance—it’s all good. FTTM is also a trove of Filipino witticisms that captures the nuances, subtleties, and humor of everyday life in the Philippines.
Asking for your sanity. pic.twitter.com/I2UN3XsZAo— FTTM ⚡️ (@FTTMPH) February 3, 2019
Kris Aquino’s musical scorer (IG)
Who might actually be Kris Aquino herself, judging from the teleserye choice of songs. Gurl turns a simple visit with the doctor, or a photo of a Cetaphil giftpack worthy of a Chariots of Fire scoring. For when she’s happily strolling down Changi airport, and being pushed on a wheelchair (so much Balenciaga emblazoned all over her jacket), her background song: “Do You Know Where You’re Going To?” For when she was ninang at Atty. Sig’s daughter’s wedding: “Miss You Like Crazy.” For dinner at a yakiniku restaurant: “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” Give the girl the musical score Oscar already! But wait, our favorite Kris IG moment is still when she found out that Nicko Falcis blocked her months after she filed charges of qualified theft against him in seven courts. Her reaction: “Block agad?”
9 out of 10 people with an autoimmune disease is a woman. i am not a doctor, hindi rin po ako expert- but i have been diagnosed with several. If you google, “the early symptoms of many autoimmune diseases are very similar such as: fatigue, achy muscles etc...” (source healthline.com) Posted this for awareness regardless of possible bashing kasi at this point, care ko. It was a 25 to 30 minute walk from the check in counter to our Terminal 2 Gate. There are days kakayanin but i just underwent several surgical procedures and i need to build up my stamina. Ayoko nang magalit at mag self pity. Lalaban ako, to improve my outlook and my quality of life. What i have has no cure, but i can fight to become stronger for the people i love & the people who matter. Flying home. Thank you @singaporeair for the kind assistance and Adam for being compassionate. God bless you all. #laban
The professional heckler
“The problem with political jokes is that they get elected,” reads one of the banner quotes on the popular site of Batagueño Loi Reyes Landicho, who blogs under the name The Professional Heckler. He’s been writing hilarious satire pieces on the site for about a decade, using his own brand of funny hyper realism that roasts both our National situation and the personalities that make it so. And we can all agree—there’s just an abundance of material.
“The PNP chief gave us the impression it would be difficult to arrest Imelda because of health, age, and the fact that her last name is neither De Lima nor Trillanes.”
If you’re Filipino and online a lot, you’ve probably come across snippets of Joseph Glenn Herbert’s standup routine. The Fil-am comic based in Tacoma, Washington has been in the game for three decades, poking fun at Pinoy culture by way of his many anecdotes about his family—particularly his unrelenting and unapologetic mother Josie. The regular Chelsea Lately panelist tours year-round in the US, has a special on Netflix (Live From Seattle), and posts from Jokoy.com and @jokoy on Facebook and Instagram.