7 other objects that can trump Kylie Jenner’s IG likes 2
Photograph from @world_record_egg on Instagram
Culture

7 other objects that can trump Kylie Jenner’s IG likes

Given the massively popular photo of the egg that trumped the half-Kardashian, we foresee a trend involving photos of common objects posted on IG with the explicit aim of getting more likes than the posts of popular but unlikeable celebrities.  You started this, egg, but you won’t end it.
ANC-X Staff | Jan 15 2019

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7 other objects that can trump Kylie Jenner’s IG likes 3
7 other objects that can trump Kylie Jenner’s IG likes 4
7 other objects that can trump Kylie Jenner’s IG likes 5
7 other objects that can trump Kylie Jenner’s IG likes 6
7 other objects that can trump Kylie Jenner’s IG likes 7
7 other objects that can trump Kylie Jenner’s IG likes 8
7 other objects that can trump Kylie Jenner’s IG likes 9

A SINGLE TISSUE. One sees a single tissue and a host of associations comes to the fore. Does this carry the viscous joy of a fresh wank? Tears? The green nasal drip of an infection? The possibilities, while not endless, are many. Also, since we do not see its actual contents, the level of evocativeness one can find in a strewn sheet is not unlike poetry. We predict this one can trump Bieber’s picture of his socked feet wearing Drew House slippers (a measly 2,876,122 likes). Or at least a post about an entire box of tissues. Photograph from Online Packaging Shop

BUBBLE WRAP. Ah, yes. Bubble wrap. Keeper of breakable things and the attention of small children. One feels an almost orgasmic pleasure with every pop, and every sheet seems like an invitation to roll right in because we are human and fragile, and we always want someone (or something) to cover us. It is also pliable like the loyalty of politicians, and transparent like the ambitions of politicians. Bubble wrap for Senator in 2019. Photograph from Amazon

PAPER CLIP. Not enough praise has been sung about the lowly paper clip, though it can hold so many sheets of paper together with nary a puncture or tear. It does not break the surface while holding things together (think of a stapler or your mother), rather it is like that hippie friend of yours who tells you to let five seconds pass before you do something you might regret. Photograph from @recordpaperclip on Instagram

A BANANA PEEL. Some of us have slipped on them, most of us have slid them off unsuspecting bananas, but a banana peel is sure to beat any post congratulating Robin Padilla for getting the lead role in the Bato biopic. It doesn’t matter what variety of banana, though we believe that a common Cavendish will do the trick for US-based accounts. If in the Philippines, we believe it’s the lakatan, and not the señorita, that will harvest all those mega likes. Slippery, spotted, and yellow, banana peels might appeal to a younger audience or to the members of the liberal party who have been accused of being responsible for the current passport fiasco. Photograph from @world_record_banana_peel on Instagram

RUBBER BAND. Invented to hold many sheets of paper together, or to act as a mini sling one can use to shoot small balls of paper at one’s annoying cubicle mate, rubber bands are not to be underestimated in the fast and furious race to the Instagram like. Bland though flexible, this can trump even the most engaged post of a celebrity with whom it shares certain traits. I’m looking at you, Gwyneth Paltrow. Photograph from Pixabay

LIGHTBULB. The most popular cartoon visual for when a character has a bright idea, the curvy shape of a lightbulb as well as the coiled tungsten housed therein says “beautiful but complicated.” This could refer to our relationship with Gretchen Barretto who grants wishes on IG but laughs at the people who ask for them. This also pertains to our relationship with any one of the Kardashians, even Rob—why can’t we keep away from such a bad and vacant TV show (and the players’ equally bad and vacant IG accounts)? It’s complicated. Photograph from Pixabay

BAND-AID. Oh Band-aid, you are so much like that rebound girlfriend—you keep the wound closed but you won’t cure it. Like influencers on IG, you are also a commercial success with many toymakers appropriating you for their superheroes. We like it when you dress as Spidey, but even nude and semi-sticky, we believe you can beat the number of likes of any old egg on any old IG post. Photograph from @world_record_bandaid on Instagram