5 ways to mend a broken heart
How to get over your ex
When you and the person you love break up it can feel as though someone has driven a truck over your heart; repeatedly. You can’t eat, you can’t sleep and sometimes you even wonder if you can breathe.
Yet, although mending a broken heart is not an easy task it can be done. These five tips should help you get over the love of your life and remove those tire marks from your heart.
1. Face the facts
Some people are perfectly capable of embracing their emotions and admitting that their relationship is over. These are the people who, when trying to get over someone, repeatedly blast out emotional medleys of Bon Iver, Phil Collins and Celine Dione until they finally fall asleep at 4 a.m. However, if you are not one of these people and you have convinced yourself that your relationship is not over and that eventually you will end up getting back with your ex, then you are not going to mend your broken heart.
To get over your ex you need to look this breakup square in the face and accept that it is over. Face the facts and begin to let go. It will hurt when you finally come to terms with the fact that it is over, but then you can start to mend that heart of yours.
2. Kick down the pedestal
When your relationship ends it can be very easy to forget all of those ways your ex drove you mad. All of those time when they patronized you, left the toilet seat up or nagged you about how much you saw your friends are soon forgotten when those three little words are spoken: "It is over."
In order to mend your broken heart and get over your ex you need to kick down that pedestal that you have placed them on and remember all of the things that were wrong with your ex and your relationship. Remember those explosive rows? Remember their terrible moods? When you take time to remember your ex’s faults you can begin to see that they weren’t so perfect and that you will find someone who is just as good, if not better.
3. Forgive yourself
Relationships are hard and people make mistakes. If you feel like the relationship ended and that it was entirely your fault then the chances are you are feeling extremely guilty. Although a certain amount of guilt might be the appropriate way to feel if you cheated for example, you can’t stay feeling guilty forever.
If you have done everything you can to try to make your ex feel as good as they can do about the situation and a good chunk of time has passed, then you need to start to work on forgiving yourself. It may be that your ex may never forgive you, or that you never stop regretting your decision, but it is unhealthy and unfair to stay mad at yourself forever. There has to come a time when you need to accept that what you have done is wrong, but that what’s done is done and you can’t change the fact that whatever happened did happen.
4. Singles list
Although you and your ex had a modern relationship, there are still certain things you can’t do when you are a couple and that you wanted to try when you were still in a relationship. It may have been going away on an all girls holiday or installing a mammoth pool table in your kitchen.
Now that you are single try to keep a positive mental attitude and make a list of all the things you can do now that you are single. If you can’t think of any, try to make a list of things that you can do now because you have more time on your hands or just write down things that you’ve always wanted to try, but have never got round to doing before. Filling your time with positive new tasks will help you move on and get over your ex quicker and your life may actually improve.
5. Let go
If your breakup was messy and you ended up getting hurt badly by the guy or girl you loved you probably feel really angry towards your ex. This is perfectly normal, acceptable and healthy. Yet, if a significant amount of time has passed you need to try to let go of your anger.
If you don’t and you remain resentful for the way your ex treated you it will be difficult to mend your broken heart. Instead of getting over your ex you will remain fixated on your broken relationship and may become bitter.
It is healthy to let go and come to terms with what has happened and once you have you will be able to start a new relationship without bringing in any of the issues and unhappy emotions that your ex left you with.
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