'Amalayer' girl opens up on suicide thoughts

ABS-CBN News

Posted at Oct 19 2014 04:14 PM | Updated as of Oct 20 2014 09:35 PM

MANILA – Paula Jamie Salvosa, who became notorious as the so-called "Amalayer" girl in the video that went viral in 2012, admitted that she almost took her own life because of cyberbullying.

Speaking to Boy Abunda in the Saturday episode of “The Bottomline,” Salvosa recalled how she felt crushed every time she received hate messages online and other people would make fun of her.

“I almost took my own life. Kapag tinatanong nila ako, ‘Cyberbully ka lang naman eh,’ pero hindi kasi siya simpleng bagay lang na na-cyberbully ka lang kasi buong pagkatao ko 'yun eh. Naalala ko nga nung panahon na na-cyberbully ako, may nasa-cyberbully din sa States at nagpakamatay siya. Dumating talaga ako sa punto na gusto ko na patayin talaga 'yung sarili ko,” she said.

Salvosa added she even received death threats, which made it difficult for her to go out of the house.

“Hindi na ako makalabas, may death threats, nakikilala nila ako, they were talking about me. Ang daming fan page na inaaway ako. Dumating sa point na even mga celebrities mina-mock ako, ginagawang laughing stock 'yung amalayer,” she said.

Salvosa said she even asked her father if she could legally change her name.

“I remember I called him. Sabi ko noon, ‘Pa, ayaw ko na yung pangalan ko.’ Akala niya joke lang or something pero sabi ko ayaw ko na yung pangalan ko. ‘Magkano ba magpapalit ng pangalan?’ Gusto ko na papalitan 'yung buong pangalan ko. Tapos nagso-sorry ako na nadumihan ko 'yung pangalan niya. ‘Ayaw ko na Pa, gusto ko na pumunta sa malayong malayong lugar na hindi nila ako kilala. Sorry nadadamay kayong lahat.’”

But her father stood by her throughout her ordeal.

“Siya po 'yung pumigil sa akin [mag-suicide]. I got to a point na I got so depressed. Hindi ako kumakain, I lost 10 pounds. Para akong kalansay. Hindi ako nakapasok sa school for two months, hindi ako maka-focus,” she said. “Sabi niya ‘Anak hindi ganyan. Hindi ito 'yung solusyon, hindi rin ito ang katapusan. May plano ang Diyos.’”

More than a year since the incident happened, Salvosa said she is blessed to have found a new relationship with the Lord, which she said has helped her move on from the “amalayer” incident.