(Editor's note: Mocha Uson is a performing artist who also gives advice on sex-related issues through her blogs. She used to have a monthly photo blog on Maxim Philippines.)
Q: Dear Ms. O,
I’m in a long-term relationship. My bf and I have been together for almost 3 years now. Every time we have sex, I don’t know why I can’t achieve orgasm with him. Well, he thinks that I always come. But most of the time, I’m faking it. After he comes, I go to the bathroom and pleasure myself. I’m starting to get bored because I find him a little selfish. I also want to enjoy sex. What can I do? Please help me.
My bf and I love your blog!
Thank you for reading my blog and for sharing your problem. When a woman orgasms with her partner, it means she trusts him completely. She can open up to that level of vulnerability. Thus, there is intimacy. According to statistics, orgasm can strengthen a relationship. Experiencing orgasm regularly with one another is one way to have a happy and healthy relationship.
Here are some of the reasons why women can’t achieve orgasm during sex:
- Guys have no idea that girls need to orgasm as well during sex.
- Guys restrain their girls from using a vibrator.
- Girls are shy to communicate with their partner what they want during sex.
- Guys are selfish and lazy when it comes to pleasing the girl.
- Girls are afraid to orgasm in front of their partner.
Here are some tips on how to achieve female orgasm:
- Know yourself. Start by masturbation. Girls, if you don’t have a toy, you can buy a finger massager. They’re readily available in convenience stores and they’re not expensive.
- Fantasize, read erotic novels or watch porn while masturbating.
- Have a girl sex partner. If you’re still a virgin, I suggest you have sex with a girl first. You can experiment all you want without worrying of getting pregnant. What most girls don’t know is that they CAN get pregnant the first time they have sex with a guy.
- Practice in the shower. Use the shower head when you masturbate. The hot water will stimulate your vaginal erogenous zones.
- Communicate with your partner before or during sex. Talk dirty to him. Tell him what you want him to do to you.
Stay horny, stay healthy!
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Disclaimer: The views in this blog are those of the blogger and do not necessarily reflect the views of ABS-CBN Corp.