Do friends interfere with your marriage?


Posted at Jan 23 2013 12:25 PM | Updated as of Jan 23 2013 08:27 PM

MANILA, Philippines – Do you always find your husband or wife spending a lot of time – maybe too much – with someone else?

Even if it’s not a mistress or a “third party,” it should still be a cause for concern, according to marriage counselor Gilda Altez, who said that family should be your husband or wife’s top priority.

Altez reacted to cases where some married men or women or spend for hours on the phone with their friends to the point of neglecting their partners.

“Dapat may limitasyon ‘yan. ‘Pag may asawa ka na, siyempre priority mo ‘yung family mo,” she said in an interview on the ABS-CBN morning show “Umagang Kay Ganda” on Wednesday.

“Lalo pa kung ex-girlfriend mo na naging mag-best friend na kayo,” she added, saying that going out with exes too often may lead to allegations of infidelity.

While it is best to get to know your partner’s buddies and hang out with them once in a while, Altez stressed that friends should also be “flexible” enough not to demand a lot of time from a married person.

“Kailangan respeto ang mamumutawi,” she said.

Neglect of a partner, which falls under unfaithfulness, is one of the five common reasons why marriages crumble, and eventually fail, according to Herald Cruz, counselor at the Center for Family Ministries at the Ateneo de Manila University.

This, he said, can be addressed by discussing issues and accepting each other, with or without the help of a marriage counselor.

Other main reasons why marriages fail include money woes, sex problems, differences and incompatibilities and matters related to in-laws.