MANILA, Philippines – After so many “failed relationships,” Janice de Belen is scared of the prospect of meeting a man who will make her fall in love again.
"Ayoko na siya dumating eh. Natatakot ako," de Belen told "Showbiz Inside Report" in an interview aired on Saturday.
"When you've been hurt so many times, ayaw mo na eh, ayaw mo na masaktan eh, ayaw mo na mag-risk, it's scary," added de Belen, whose interview also marked her 44th birthday.
Not a few know of de Belen's teenage romance with actor Aga Muhlach, with whom she has a son, Luigi. The romance between the two bloomed as they co-starred in a number of films in the 80's, among them "Super Wan-Tu-Tri" (1985).
Before Muhlach, at age 14, de Belen was also known to be in a relationship with actor Gabby Concepcion, with whom she was paired as a "love team" in numerous films such as "Puppy Love" (1982) and "Aking Prince Charming" (1983).
De Belen would later be involved with actor John Estrada, who she was eventually married in 1992. Almost a decade and four children later, the couple's relationship was rocked by reports of Estrada's alleged infidelity. After their separation in 2002, their marriage was annulled in 2004.
At the time of the separation, Moira, one of de Belen's children with Estrada, said her mother "put up walls around her, she put herself in a cage."
Recalling her failed relationship with the Estrada, de Belen said she felt as though she lost "importance" and self-worth.
"I came from a broken heart. Iba 'yung tingin mo sa sarili mo eh, iba talaga. Parang feeling ko, ito nalang 'yung worth ko both as an actress and as a person," de Belen said.
'More than enough love'
Because of the controversial split, the actress has grown to "fear" having a romantic relationship, she told "SIR".
"I have never been as terrified of love in my whole life as I am right now," de Belen said.
"Ayoko na magpakasal ulit. Hindi na nga nangyari nu’ng pangalawang beses, mag-e-expect pa ako ng pangatlo? Hindi na, okay na 'ko," she added.
Although she admits to missing "having someone to cuddle up with and watch movies with," de Belen finds more than enough love from her children, friends and colleagues in the industry.
"Hindi man ako blessed sa pagpapamahal galing sa iisang tao, blessed ako ng pagmamahal galing sa sobrang daming tao, at 'yun, okay na ko doon," she said.
"Love really does come from the most unexpected places," she added.