MANILA, Philippines -- Without any other means of communicating with her two estranged sons with former basketball player Benjie Paras, Jackie Forster took to YouTube to ask forgiveness from them.
In the video posted online Friday, the former actress showed a montage of happy moments with her two sons, Andre and Kobe, as children. Foster said in the video's accompanying description said it is her way to "get my message across to my boys."
Andre and Kobe, who are now in college and high school, respectively, had earlier said in a televised interview they wanted "space" from their mother, explaining they were tramautized of something she had done in the past.
"I gave you the space that you asked for almost 4 years ago, I haven’t held you both for 8 years—March 14, 2005," Forster said, addressing her sons in the YouTube video.
She added that since the estrangement, she has been trying to reach out to them "but to no avail."
"I think that’s enough time and space my loves. Please forgive me. I want to show you I am a Great Mother. And have so much to give you both now that I am the right age and almost complete," she said.
Paras, for his part, has said he leaves it up to his sons to decide what they want to do. Admittedly caught by surprise by his son's statements in their interview, Paras said he sympathizes with his ex-wife's situation.
"Masakit sa magulang talaga 'yon. Naiintindihan ko lahat 'yon. Masakit sa magulang na ayawan ka ng anak mo. Masakit talaga 'yon. Pero nasa sa anak ko na 'yon. Inuulit ko. Hindi ko sila pinipigilan at sila ang magde-decide para sa kanila," he said.
Below is Forster's full message to her sons as seen in the video:
“To my babies Kuya and my baby Kobe, I tried to write you so many times so I can give it to you one day but it hurt too much each time so this is my attempt to remind you how much I loved you and still do.
“Please find in your hearts to remember it was mostly happy times. I tried to provide what I could and show you my love the best I knew how at the time. Sorry if those few times I was selfish.
“Do your remember when I fought to get my rights back? The courts gave me weekends with you two. I came that very weekend. Remember what happened? Please remember... you wanted to come but...
“I hope you are strong enough to let me back in your life. Wise enough to know who I am and how much I would do for you both. You will never know how much I’ve done just to try to get you guys back.
“There’s not a day gone by that I don’t think about you both. I want you to know that I have called, left messages and tried to see you but to no avail. I hope they told you each time and showed you my messages.
“So much time has gone by. I wish I were there to witness you grow up. Instead I just have these photos.
“I was only 16 Andre when I had you, 18 with Kobe... what did I know? I was always just told what to do even If I didn’t know how... I tried... I tried my best and that’s all I had to do, right?
“Everybody makes mistakes but I never harmed you. I’m sure, you know that in your hearts. Neither did I put you in harm's way. If that is what you thought when you were 5 and 7 years old, I am so sorry.
“I am sorry that I showed you otherwise. I only wish the people who helped raise you constantly reminded you both that I love you. They should have spoken to me about concerns before I was just shut out. I think It was-—is all unfair.
“I didn’t abandon you two, I left the Philippines almost two years after Jared was born because my attempts to see you guys or even talk to you were futile. I prayed about it. I fixed my life and built an awesome family, one that both of you WILL BE PROUD OF.
“I gave you the space that you asked for almost 4 years ago, I haven’t held you both for 8 years—March 14, 2005.
“I think that’s enough time and space my loves. Please forgive me. I want to show you I am a Great Mother. And have so much to give you both now that I am the right age and almost complete.
“All that’s missing are the two of you Andre and Kobe. I don’t want you living with this kind of hate and bitterness in your hearts. Life is too short to live with all these walls around you.
“It pains me to know you are both teenagers now but are not allowed to hang with friends or to keep in touch with almost all the people from your past.
“I wish I could help you guide you. I have so much to teach. I have been through so much and I want to share the lessons that life that has taught me in hopes to help you both avoid making the same mistakes or to make wiser choices to better reach your own personal and professional success.
“I pray I can see the world with you two also! All I want is a second chance. I would love nothing but to show you how much I love you both. No matter what happens nothing will ever change the fact that I am your mother. I love you with all my heart. I will fight for you two now that I am wise enough to know better.
"Ecceliastes 3:7-8: 7 a time to tear, a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 a time to love, a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.”