MANILA -- Months after her cryptic post about rape, model Kat Alano came clean on Mo Twister's radio show "Good Times" and admitted that she was raped nine years ago.
Her confession over the weekend ended speculations about her rape post, which she made after model Deniece Cornejo accused host Vhong Navarro of raping her.
Early this month, the Department of Justice (DOJ) dismissed the rape complaint filed by Cornejo against Navarro, saying it was very difficult to comprehend how Navarro could have raped Cornejo, given that there was not even a single scratch on the model.
Alano stressed to Mo Twister that she doesn't know Cornejo or businessman Cedric Lee.
"Rape is a funny thing. People think that they assume to know all the kind of things about rape victims but they really don't know them at all. And when they react to people saying things about rape, they have no idea what they are talking about. They've never been raped. They never spoke to anybody who knows anything to do with being raped," she told the controversial radio personality.
On January 25, one day after it was reported that Navarro was beaten up by the group of Lee, Alano tweeted: “Why is it people are so quick to defend rapists and demonize the victims? Open your eyes people.”
Because of the timing, netizens thought the post was related to the Navarro case.
"Out of all the high profile rape cases that have been in the media this one triggered something in me the most," Alano explained to Mo Twister. "When something triggers something in you after nine years, I want this to go away. I want it to sweep under the rug and I want it to go away. I want to bury it, I never want to think about it ever again. Something was triggered in me and I could now stop it. It poured out of me."
"It's in incredible that in nine years, you can think that you are totally fine and then one thing just sparked it all and all of these things that you thought that never had are started coming back," she said.
Alano said the past three months "have been like hell," adding that she has had anxiety attacks.
"I cry not knowing why, I'm afraid for stupid reasons. I don't understand what I'm feeling half the time just trying to deal with these emotions that I never even knew I had. Petrified, fear, anxiety just not being able to speak, being afraid to be by myself," she said, adding that she had to move out and stay with friends "because I couldn't be on my own."
Despite Alano going public with her rape, she said she is not yet ready to identify the man who raped her. She did say, however, that the man is a public figure and they had met because of work.
"I'm not ready to do that, no. Because what it will become is public figure vs public figure and the fact that I was raped and rape itself and what needs to be spoken about will totally lost in a bunch of other stuff," Alano explained.
Recalling the incident nine years ago, Alano, who was 19 at the time, said she was at a bar with her friends that night.
"I'd been there for a while so I drank quite a bit. I saw him out and, you know showbiz, Mo, when you see someone you know, you like say 'hi,' you hang out, you 'hey kamusta blah blah,' all that stuff," she said.
"We drink together, he buys me a drink and you know we're hanging out. I'm with my friends though, so there's bunch of people. After a little while, I wanna go home. Like I started to feel tired and I'm gonna drive home. Yes, I know, 19-year-old drunk driving, don't do that kids bad idea but I decided I was gonna go home. And he said to me, 'Let me drive you home.' And I was like, 'No, it's okay. I will go with my friends, my friends are gonna come with me.' He said, 'No let me drive you home,'" she continued.
But Alano said he was insistent and she eventually agreed. "You meet somebody at work you don't assume that something bad is gonna happen," she said.
Alano said she believes she had been drugged.
"While in the car I started to feel confuse, I started to tell myself, what did I drink because I feel weird right now," she said, admitting that during her younger years, "I can drink a lot of alcohol and I can be totally fine."
During the interview, Alano admitted that she wasn't totally in control by the time she got home.
"I'm already stumbling a little bit and I have my key in my hand and I know he is getting a little bit irritated and I'm like, I don't know what's going on, I'm losing consciousness and he takes the key from me and he opens my door and I blacked out. I don't know what happens next. The only thing I know is that I woke up and I passed out on my floor with my arms above my head and my legs were up in the air and he was pulling off my jeans. And he looked really surprise that I was awake and then I blacked out again.
"I came back and I was lying on my bed. I don't know how I got there and he was lying on top of me. I blacked out again. I woke up again because he was kissing me. He kissed me and I was dreaming and I thought that it was the guy that I have been dating that time. And I opened my eyes, I see it's him and I freaked out and I'm like, 'Get off me, what are you doing, no, no no.' And I start crying 'no, no, no.' ... I still have my shirt the whole time, it was just my jeans that's around my ankles. I'm half-naked but I really don't know that at that time. I'm waking up, in and out of consciousness, and I don't know what's going on," she said.
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Alano explained that coming out with her story now is part of "freeing" herself.
"I didn't want to come out with this. I didn't want it at all. But now that all these things happened, I was caught by all of these things and I was told by so many people what happened to them, I needed to tell them, 'Here I am. This happened to me. I don't need to be ashamed anymore. It's not my fault and it's not your fault either and if you are a victim like me then you need to speak up because that's part of freeing yourself, that is part of letting go and that's not easy,'" she explained.