MANILA – BB Gandanghari is still over the moon months after a Los Angeles court formally recognized her as female.
In a three-part Instagram post on Tuesday, Gandanghari recalled how she used to fear life.
“Since my life turned upside down sometime in the late 1990's, I felt my life was stalled, embracing death, ready to face it eye to eye anytime... anywhere. FEARLESS? Maybe... I say maybe bec I may be fearless of death but I was definitely in FEAR of life. Life was just too much bec if life is all about looking forward about the future and about goals and ambitions, I had none of it,” she wrote, unedited.
Even after coming out in 2006, Gandanghari, who was still known at the time as Rustom Padilla, felt she was still "living in status quo."
“Of course, I was going thru transition too and so I thought, must be the hormones. But it isn't. I knew it was more than that,” she said.
Padilla came out of the closet during the celebrity edition of the ABS-CBN reality show "Pinoy Big Brother" in 2006.
In one of the most memorable moments of the popular reality TV show, Padilla admitted to fellow housemate Keanna Reeves that he is gay.
Padilla eventually decided to take the name BB Gandanghari and in an interview with "Tapatan ni Tunying" in July 2014, clarified that he is not gay but a transgender.
Things changed when Gandanghari's legal petition to change name and gender was finally granted.
“I was ecstatic when I got my court order. Overwhelmed when my driver's license finally came in the mail. Ecstatic and overwhelmed bec for the first time after everything has been said and done, I finally feel that I exist, that I'm on record and yes... that I'm ALIVE,” she said.
Gandanghari said she now feels different and has “so much anticipation as to what life has to offer.”
“The reason why I feel so enthusiastic about everything is bec now I have a goal, a dream, an ambition to achieve. And with this ambition comes the wings that I thought was clipped if not taken away forever. Praise be to my GOD,” she said.
“Dream so we may look for our wings that we may not know that it even exist. Yes, as long as we have goals, ambitions to achieve... our wings will eventually manifest. And who says man can't fly? Think again bec I think we do, as high as as we want... SKY is the LIMIT,” she added.