Salamat Dok: Parents, don't push your kids too hard

By Yam dela Cruz, Multimedia Producer, Salamat Dok

Posted at Jun 11 2012 09:21 PM | Updated as of Jun 13 2012 07:53 PM

The negative effect of parental pressure on academics

High grades, consistent placement in the honor roll and top 10 of the class, lots of ribbons, medals, and recognitions – these are what some parents expect from their children when they start studying. But according to experts, having very high expectations may have bad effects on your child.

Many parents believe that academic excellence is the foundation for success. Have you asked your child achiever what he/she feels about it?

“Some children perceive that you only love them because they study hard or their grades are good. The problem with this is when they are already working, their achievements are only based on their mental capacity or competency but when they make mistakes, they lose self-esteem,” said Jason Sanchez, Director for Student and Faculty Development at Morning Dew Montessori.

Mistakes lower the self value of the child. It is very important for parents to remember that their child’s grades are not the only factor to consider for success.

Studies and researches agree that one of the most important things in an individual’s success in life and career is emotional intelligence or EQ. This is the ability to understand other people, what motivates them and how to work cooperatively with them, as defined by Howard Gardner, an Influential Harvard theorist. 

Sanchez added, “A person with high EQ is patient, knows how to deal with stress and endures trying circumstances with even temper.

As Dr. Jefferson Fish put it, “there is a lot more to making it--including hard work, luck, social contacts, good health, and social skills--than being academically gifted.”

"Academic excellence is not bad. However, it is necessary and important for parents to trust their child’s abilities. They need support in their endeavors. Push them to their limits but look at the way where your child will feel comfortable," Sanchez concluded. – with a report from Alexandra Jacqueline Geronimo

Segment: Family Matters, aired March 4, 2012