Join the Marcos Club Now!

By Alan Robles

Posted at May 19 2015 05:45 PM | Updated as of May 20 2015 01:45 AM

Through Facebook, my number one source of totally accurate info, I discovered a post inviting people to pay PHP 250 to join the “Bongbong Marcos for President Movement.”

In return, the member gets an official ID card and (should Marcos win) a chance to earn up to PHP 1 million from “Marcos wealth.”

Is the post a joke? Well, one reason why it might be true is that it has the name “Marcos” in it, and everyone knows this is the leading brand when it comes to scams, crime and douchebaggery.

Also, think about it: Filipinos are being asked to PAY for the privilege of voting Bongbong for president. If that larceny concept isn't Marcosian, I don't know what is.

But I think the offer is fake and the whole thing a spoof or a hoax. Why? Because the message has one fatal flaw easy to spot. It wants us to think that the Marcoses are actually willing to SHARE their stolen loot with anyone. This is inconceivable, it's like asking us to believe that Manny Pacquiao regularly attends Congress, or that the Daily Tribune is a real newspaper.

In short, the meme lacks the authentic dishonesty we've come to associate with the country's most wanted family. The Marcoses never got to become what they are (30th level bandits) by being sloppy. If the Marcoses really WERE handling the promotion, this is probably how the ad would go:

Attention Filipinos! Stupid? Lack brains? If so, then this could be your LUCKY DAY. Because you are QUALIFIED to become a member of the Bongbong Welcome (BoWel) Movement!

Be a proud paying supporter of a candidate who is the unrepentant son of a dictator who murdered 3,000 people, tortured tens of thousands more and stole US$10 billion!

All it costs is a membership fee of PHP 500 cash! And just look at what that entitles you to!

- A handsome laminated ID (note: P100 extra for processing)

- A chance to watch Bongbong Marcos appear on television (note: you must have your own TV set and it must be on)

- A chance to look at pictures of the Marcos family in the newspapers' lifestyle sections (note: you must buy your own newspaper)

Apply early and we'll throw in these bonuses ABSOLUTELY FREE:

1. A graduate diploma from Oxford University

2. A crumpled map showing Yamashita's treasure

3. A genuine 100 percent authentic picture of a gold bar

4. Downloadable ringtones of Imelda Marcos singing (health insurance not included)

Should you decide to change your mind and ask for your money back, we will also send you, absolutely free of charge, a big picture of Martial Law torture victims. Just to show, you know, what happens to those who make trouble...

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Disclaimer: The views in this blog are those of the blogger and do not necessarily reflect the views of ABS-CBN Corp.