The past few days have seen unseemly bickering over who should get credit for Indonesia's stopping the execution of drug mule Mary Jane Veloso.
There's a long list of contenders, though we can probably rule out a few, such as The Avengers, Batman, Guardians of the Galaxy, Darna and the daily broadsheets, who did their best to try and kill the prisoner in their headlines.
Now, here's your chance to see if YOU deserve the honor. Just answer the questionnaire below to see if you have what it takes to be a credit grabber.
Choose only one answer to each question.
1. Your position
b. Vice President
c. NGO / blogger
d. The Left, all glory to the Party!
2. What best describes your involvement in the case?
a. Concerned government official
b. Concerned election candidate for 2016
c. Concerned citizen
d. Looking for way to burn more government officials in effigy
3. Why do you think you should get credit for staying Mary Jane Veloso's execution at the very last minute?
a. I conducted personal diplomacy, appealing to the Indonesian president as well as foreign minister
b. I offered a year's supply of birthday cakes, plus a free hacienda stay
c. I mounted a grassroots campaign that got media attention and was totally ignored by Indonesia
d. I gave an extensive discourse on the glory of modern socialist theory
e. Wala lang
4. What principles guided you in your effort to stop the execution?
a. Quiet persistence
b. Popularity polls
d. Instructions of the Commissar
5. What other factors do you believe aided in the successful staying of the execution?
a. Hardworking government officials
b. Whatever it is, I take credit for it
c. Facebook memes
d. Scientific socialism
6. Complete the sentence: the best way to deal with cases such as this is to.....
a. Improve government programs for overseas workers
b. Improve coverage of the vice president
c. Make more semi-literate memes
d. Burn more effigies of government officials
7. The stay of execution is only temporary; the next crucial step should be to
a. Investigate the case thoroughly
b. Get more media mileage for the coming elections
c. Focus on making more memes
d. Blame the government and burn more effigies
How to rate yourself:
Did you carefully note all your answers to the questions? If so you just wasted your time because as you very well know, YOU deserve all the credit. Now go out and burn an effigy.
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Disclaimer: The views in this blog are those of the blogger and do not necessarily reflect the views of ABS-CBN Corp.