If I knew then what I know now, perhaps I’d do things differently. I couldn’t say I would not want to go through the same experiences—though some are just way too unpleasant. Thing is, “take two” does not happen with the awareness of previous events and mistakes!
It’s only in the movies, soaps and “taped” shows that a second take (perhaps even more) can happen. It rarely happens in real life—so rare that I would consider it a miracle.
How many times are we able to start over? There’s no such thing as a “reset” button in real life. We have to make do with the effects of our own decisions. We’re never the same after the first take. Many choices are like one-way streets you have to traverse and could never back up from! How often are we able to start on a clean slate?
On many occasions, we start over as if on a clean slate, ignoring collateral damage or denying that others have been affected by our actions. That means the slate isn’t clean after all!
I’m merely reflecting on opportunities I may have missed. Even before I turned 50, I have always made it a point to avoid “what could have beens”. I have a few WCHBs and that’s why I know it’s difficult to have them.
They’re also the reason why I have adopted a most peculiar way of making choices—no matter how big or small. Whenever I have to decide whether or not to buy something, I always ask myself whether it would kill me to find out later that it’s no longer for sale, it will no longer be available in my size or the color I want or if I have space for it. I always try on footwear—even if it’s a trusted brand. If it pinches anywhere, I don’t buy it.
I often share this with young people and tell them that it won’t hurt to use the same strategy when deciding whether or not to marry a person. When in doubt, don’t. I do not believe that we can change others because real change comes from within. The person must be willing to change, so that if he or she is merely adapting to you and wants to please you, then that’s not real change!
Change that lasts comes from real concern (at the very least) and true love. It’s what happens when we accommodate the person we love in our lives and grow into each other. It’s the kind of change that is not demanded of us, but we are nevertheless willing to embrace because of love.
And while “take two” may be rare when it comes to marriage, we certainly can have as many “takes” as we need to find the right one.
Disclaimer: The views in this blog are those of the blogger and do not necessarily reflect the views of ABS-CBN Corp.